This is not a short story. This is a note to you, Dear Reader.
I have been awful and neglected this page for over a week.
Also…apologies in advance for the next couple weeks, during which time I will continue to neglect this page. I’m working on something exciting on my home base (www.jmtohline.com), and it won’t be ready until next Thursday, and until then my mind and time will be absorbed in that project.
I’ll be back soon - promise.
“Today is national banana day.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I didn’t know that. Um…what does that even mean?”
“What does that…what does that mean? Are you serious?”
“I’ve never heard of national banana day before.”
“Bananas are endangered species!”
“I can’t believe you didn’t know that.”
“Yeah. And to raise awareness…you’re supposed to eat as many bananas as you can.”
He knew that you could never own too many bandanas.
He wasn’t sure if the same rule applied to wearing bandanas.
Better safe than sorry, he thought. He put on every bandana he owned.
He looked in the mirror.
Yup, he looked solid.
Yup, tonight was looking like it would be a very premium night.
He talked and talked and talked. He thought that everyone was listening. He thought that everyone was so absorbed in his awesome stories they couldn’t look away.
She tapped him on the shoulder. She leaned toward him.
“Wipe,” she said.
“You ate it?”
“Your…your fingernail? You really just ate your…”
“Yeah. What? What’s that face for?”
“Nothing,” she said.
They broke up after that.